therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
