Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
