capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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