Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
