you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize