It's Friday. Sex?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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