just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
