Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
