i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
