Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
