Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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