He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
