Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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