My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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