i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize