I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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