Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
