also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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