David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
please come you make the beer taste better
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
