Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
