yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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