You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
pray to the hookup gods
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
