i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
