This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
