I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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