your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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