Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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