All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
