Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
