I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
