Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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