dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
