i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
