i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
