my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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