Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
