hotel room ftw
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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