If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize