Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
