This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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