Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
