the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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