Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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