Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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