yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
