TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
