So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
