am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
