Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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