Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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