it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
