definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
