"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
