She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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