Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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