We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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