The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize