He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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