Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
