I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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