going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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