yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
