nut hugger
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
