Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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